Take Control Of Your Own Happiness.

The Person Who Makes You Most Miserable… Is Yourself. “She made me miserable.” “He ruined my life.”
“It’s all her fault that I am so depressed.” “I’m so unhappy because of him.”

I can’t remember how many times I’ve heard these words from people around me. And every time, it makes me very sad, not because they are so unlucky that some other terrible people have made their lives miserable, but because they don’t see that it is their own choice to feel that way. The truth about life is disappointments are inevitable but misery is optional.

Anyone can do anything intentionally or unintentionally that negatively affects us, and we cannot control what other people do or say. Even the nicest people can hurt us.
Sometimes, people that cause us pain don’t have control over a situation that hurts us. Even though we don’t have control over many situations and what other people do or say, we can still take control of our own happiness. Your own happiness can be turned to tragedy and sorrow by the dishonesty and misconduct of others. I am sure you can think of instances of this actually happening which reduces one's survival and impair one's happiness.

These are three ways to take control of your happiness by my own standards:

1) Control Your Mind :change how you let the undesirable situations, words, and actions affect you emotionally.
 2) Stop Making Yourself Unhappy: recognize what you make yourself unhappy, and then stop.
3) Take actions to become happy

1. Control Your Mind - Controlling your mind does not mean that you should not feel angry, frustrated, sad, disappointed, or resentful. In fact, you must. You must let yourself experience those negative feelings. You must acknowledge your feelings of anger, frustration, sadness, disappointment, and resentment instead of fighting them or denying and ignoring them. Such emotions come and go. They are a part of your life, and there is nothing wrong with experiencing those negative emotions. In fact, whether positive or negative emotions, they are the testament that you are alive and living life.
Controlling your mind means that you do not allow your thoughts to convert those negative emotions into unhappiness. Emotions are by themselves just emotions. But over time, if you keep dwelling on negative emotions, you make them bigger than they need to be — they occupy more space than necessary in your heart and mind. You create an upsetting stories and make yourself a victim of the unjust world. When you say, “I feel angry and sad that he/she did this,” you simply state your feelings. Feelings come and go, and you can take action to alleviate or eliminate your negative feelings. But when you say, “I am so unfortunate to have met him/her. He/she makes me miserable,” you then turn your feelings into an unhappy story. You turn a normal person feelings into a victim, and you give up the control of your own happiness to another person.

2. Stop Making Yourself Unhappy - The most common thing people do to themselves to be unhappy is to do nothing and stay in an unhappy situation. It is easier to do nothing and be unhappy than to do something and be happy. Therefore, it’s not surprising that a lot of people choose to be unhappy. Some people choose to stay unhappy out of habit. They are used to the unhappiness and accept it as a part of their lives. They give up on being happy and tell themselves that no one, no relationship, or no job is perfect.
It’s true that nothing is perfect but that is not a justification to stay unhappy. Some people choose to stay unhappy because of the fear factor surrounding them. Fear of change, fear of the unknown, fear that things could be worse. If fear is holding you back, remember that the scariest thing is to know that you will be unhappy like you are now for the rest of your life, if you do nothing about it. Some people choose to stay unhappy because they feel guilty of being happy or of making other people unhappy. They often forget that they can’t always take full responsibility for the happiness of other people. When you do nothing to get rid of unhappiness, you are choosing to be unhappy.

3. Take Actions to Become Happy - To be happy, you need to either improve or walk away from undesirable situations. To improve undesirable situations, communication is the key. If you don’t tell other people about what makes you feel happy, angry, or sad, other people cannot understand you or help you improve the situation. If you don’t listen, you won’t know that most people don’t want to hurt you and want you to be happy. If you don’t ask, the answer is always No. If you don’t say no, you will always get into upsetting situations. Not until you have done your best to communicate and understand each other that you can choose to take another action to be happy – that is to walk away from the situation. Walking away from an undesirable situation can be very difficult but true power they say is your ability to walk away from something you desire, in order to protect something you LOVE. Some people are attached to other people and things in their lives. 
If you blame other people for making your lives miserable and unhappy, you dis-empower yourself and lose the ability to end your own misery and unhappiness. If you are unhappy and choose to stay in an unhappy situation, it is nobody's fault except your own.
 

                            You are responsible for your own happiness and should make that a priority. - nEshunGH